“A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit.” Proverbs 15:13 (NIV).
To survive a broken heart, you need to rise above the pain. When your heart is broken, you nurse deep mental and emotional wounds, and many times, you wonder if your heart will ever heal. I am confident that you will survive this.
Healing your heart will take time. Trust God and allow Him to heal your wounds and set you free to focus on your future. "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7 (NIV).
How do you heal a broken heart?
(1) Give yourself permission to grieve
Crying about the situation helps to release the stress you feel, and will therefore help with your healing. There is “a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;” Ecclesiastes 3:4 (KJV). God will take care of you throughout this period. Your “weeping may endure all night but joy comes in the morning.” Psalm 30:5 (KJV)
(2) Starve the beast
Stop feeding on lies – feelings of insecurity or the guilt that you carry. Speak life over your situation, “casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.” 2 Corinthians 10:4: (KJV)
You must also watch out for feelings of condemnation and fear - what ifs? Shoulda. Woulda. Coulda. “For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7 (KJV). You are God's masterpiece. Recognize that you are victorious by design.
(3) Pray, study and meditate upon the Word of God
“He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3 (KJV)
You might not feel like praying, but pray nonetheless. Contact a friend to pray with you. God is willing to take the burden that you are carrying. “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18 (NIV)
(4) Talk with someone about your situation
Share your situation with someone; someone you trust, who will help you. This could be your pastor, counselor, parents, a family member, or a friend. Talking about your situation allows you to free yourself of the burden.
(5) Focus on your ministry or engage in creative activities
Divert your mind and energy to something creative and useful. Get your mind fully engaged. Your mind needs a goal or it will continue recalling the past.
You should consider learning something new, for examples, playing a musical instrument or learning a new language. Further, you could join a group in your church or volunteer your time at a charitable association. The goal is to make yourself useful and available by serving others.
“I will instruct you and teach you in the way which you shall go: I will guide you with my eye.” Psalm 32:8 (KJV).
Make survival your daily goal. When the situation rise to the forefront of your mind, declare – Lord, I give this situation to you. I know that you are taking care of it. I am victorious. This too shall pass.
(7) Extend forgiveness
Unforgiveness is like poison. It will hinder or block the healing power of the Holy Spirit in your life. Forgive those who have hurt you. Further, forgive yourself. Forgiviness is a vital step to inner healing.
There will always be an opportunity to love again. However, it is important that you have a “healthy” heart before you start dating. We are made for relationships – simply, wired that way. So as you move forward, “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” Proverbs 4:23 (NLT)
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Ann Marie Bryan
CEO & Founder, Victorious By Design
Author, Encounters of the Heart series